1. |
Even In Paradise
03:03
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|
even in paradise, here I go
chasing anxieties, trusting ghosts.
towers burn, the waves rise when you get close:
I’ve been warned but I don’t want this to be over
and neither do you
stand between me
and the peace I claim to want.
I don’t know much,
I know I still don’t know myself at all.
you owe me nothing
but this final compliment:
you can’t show me a way to hurt you
I haven’t already thought.
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2. |
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|
the faintest whisper of neglect passed between you two
you soldiered on, holding your breath:
an uneventful ruin.
then you asked me to fill that place
but I’m burning up in space - can’t take the pressure you have placed on me.
molten I can’t be held,
too bright to be seen.
you say you know me well
you only know a dream
love you if I could
but what does that word mean?
you say you know me well
you only know a dream.
no pedestal set up this time:
you’re trying to keep me close.
I have watched you losing sight
of the life you chose
and you want me to fill that place, but I’m burning up in space
can’t take the pressure you have placed on me
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3. |
Advice
03:36
|
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|
too many hours of mine
are spoiled by the thought:
I would need you less
if I liked myself more -
all the flowers furl out
and press their pink mouths to my ears:
advice I can’t quite hear.
set up when I was young,
before the eclipse I
swallowed holy blood
and holy submission, I
knelt down: will I be absolved
if I give up the loves that make me whole?
the breaking waves gave this advice to me:
surrender and forgive!
I don’t know how to do that yet,
I don’t know how to live.
the waning moon gave this advice to me:
surrender and forgive!
I don’t know how to do that yet,
I don’t know how to live.
the red-gold leaves gave this advice to me:
surrender and forgive!
I don’t know how to do that yet,
I don’t know how to live.
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4. |
Rhoda
03:26
|
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|
I have burned my bridges - I would rather swim
when you shut me out, I had to turn within
I like to feel the water lap against my skin
I see you waving down
I’ll know the waves so well before I drown
I made you a promise that I’d rather break
your confidence in me was more than i could take
you were the leaking vessel where i poured my faith
but all that’s dried up now
till you find some new sorrow I can drown
why is time so heavy and so sweet?
falling through life, faceless, never found my feet
why is time so heavy and so sweet?
falling through life, faceless, never found my feet
I have burned my bridges, I would rather swim
I felt so left out, I had to turn within.
I lived to feel the water lap against my skin
and see you waving down -
I’ll know the waves so well before I drown.
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5. |
Good Enough
03:51
|
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|
thought I knew what I was doing
holding my breath till you loved me
holding my breath till I’m something to you.
I don’t have a dream of excess
not the one you need to impress
I just wanna sit here talking to you.
and I think you should let me in your head
I’m good enough, I’ve been through hell and out again.
never wanna sow dissent here,
my best hours on earth are spent here:
when you knock off work come out and meet me.
breaking up dry leaves, I’m nervous
knowing too well you’re worth so much,
trying to reconcile the way you see me.
and I think you should let me in your head
we’re good now, we’ve been through hell and out again.
love is giving without taking
love is giving up
I’ll keep giving without taking
till I’m good enough.
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6. |
Books Of Number
03:32
|
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|
clawed the rings back on my fingers
riding on the shuttle bus
down into the rainy city.
don’t know what to make of us:
you hold the world in magic, hazing
out the mundane and the harsh.
your earnest words my only kindred -
I would never be apart
from you if I lived out my art.
but I have lost the books of number
holding matter in its place.
half a spring-queen, half held under
worlds half-lived in, heart half-faced.
now I see the rain is clearing
roll the window, bushfire smoke
pours in: all the ash and cinders
smell like your place
where I interred my hopes.
I won’t recreate that nightmare
where I stand out in the night
tongues of flame beneath the skyline
but I am safe up in the heights
and you, sweet instrument, I play out,
preoccupied until the end.
instead I leave you be and step down:
begin the work to make amends.
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7. |
Waking
02:55
|
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|
I dreamed I went to stay at yours
I’ve never seen it in real life before.
your housemate met me, she was kind,
made up a mattress on the floor.
you said, “I’ll take you for a drive
don’t need to say it, don’t need to talk.”
well, you can take me anywhere,
just please don’t hurt me anymore.
my heaven’s knowing you’re okay,
you’ll see those promised better days:
you have a life outside the dream,
you’ll find someone who wants to stay.
and if I live to see you thrive
I’ll put this all to rest and wake
and anyone who hears and cares
should know I did this for your sake.
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8. |
Equinox
03:40
|
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|
when I walk by the river you can come
I’ll bring aloe for your skin burned by the sun.
near the shallows we can talk and think
when we reach deeper places we can swim.
I hope it’s not a joke, it’s not a dream
this thing I have with you makes me feel clean
and I know, every minute, we’re still changing
but I like what I’ve made you, what you’ve made me
and the days are growing short, the night is long
I’m ready to admit that I was wrong:
when the night grows short to match the day
I’ll see the best I can be in your face.
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9. |
Pomegranate Tree
03:29
|
|||
|
a thousand flowers grow beneath the pomegranate tree -
take their fallen petals when I sleep and cover me.
I was never lonely with my forehead steeped in dreams
and here I’ll liquefy till angels pour me out in streams.
a thousand volts that burnt the hand of Hypersephone
when she plucked the flower whose roots grew out of Hades dreams shoot out from her open eyes, her mouth red, ripe with screams
and you’re the sound she made, and you’re the seed.
a thousand lights that illumine two worlds, twin halves of me
glowing from behind your ribs peer through the rungs in beams.
myopic when I foundered then, but I worked hard to see
and I’ll take in the sight until I have all that I need.
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10. |
The Empyrean
04:09
|
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|
I lay down and buried myself
hoping I’d be found like treasure
but you have to want to dig for me:
bare hands in earth for what might feel like forever.
I can’t promise I’ll be worth it, all your tireless hours of work -
I haven’t seen the sunlight now for years
but when you touch my face you’ll see my eyes fill up with grateful tears.
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11. |
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